Carl's Jr.: How Loathsome Can You Go?

There has been a lot of buzz on the interwebs lately over the new Carl's Jr. commercial featuring "Hills" cast member, Audrina Patridge. In the commercial Audrina is lounging on the beach in a bikini while eating a burger. Its pretty standard stuff for Carl's Jr. whose previous commercials have included Padma Lakshmi and Paris Hilton. This new commercial, though, this one really puts my fries in a twist.

The commercial is intolerable for two reasons, the first of which is Audrina's voice work. Her voice is sleepier than her eyes. At no time does she sound the least bit sexy or at all enthused about the burger. Stephen Hawking whispering into my ear is more arousing than listening to Audrina.

The most infuriating thing about the commercial, though, is the use of Rilo Kiley's song, "Moneymaker." This isn't Carl's Jr.'s fault, it's Rilo Kiley's. I'm of the school of thought that believes bands shouldn't license out their music to corporations. Beyond that, I never thought Rilo Kiley was the kind of band to do such a thing. They are indie darlings who have four albums worth of solid song craft. Added to that, many of their songs are about, in some way or another, female struggle and empowerment. They take an honest look at life as a female. Their artistic integrity and message are completely at odds with the imagery and message of the commercial. Not least of all, Jenny and many if not all of the other band members are vegetarian/vegan. Why would a band of vegetarians agree to release their song to a fast food corporation? Are they really that desperate for money? Are there really that many bills to pay? My only explanation is that Rilo Kiley doesn't hold rights to the song and it was sold to Carl's Jr. by their record label. And that, my friends, is shitty.

Although, it's a whole other discussion, a record label's job is to represent and promote a band in the best way possible. Not everything is about the bottom line. Part of representation means ensuring the integrity of the band's image and message. Selling songs to a fast food corporation is not how I would define the preservation of artistic integrity.


The abomination can be seen here:

Friday Night Links

P.J. and I had a week full of suck and it's all because DirecTV pulled the bonus channels we were receiving like VH1 Classic and Ovation. It was to be expected and something we should have seen coming. As every kid in high school econ learns, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch." DirecTV surely wasn't going to let us enjoy premium channels for free. No sir. Instead they just titillated us with their artsy channel peep show and then pulled the plug just when we were getting comfortable. We will no longer be watching documentaries on bands like Pink Floyd or the Sex Pistols, nor will we get to decide whether a painting is art or not. So, thanks a lot DirecTV. Now P.J. and I have to make due with A Baby Story mini-marathons, True Life: I'm a College Baller, and the wacky antics of Bam Margera. It's like a pop culture smoothie where the only ingredients are lard, apathy, and a fat scoop of shame.

After being burned so badly by technology, P.J. and I decided to go the old school route and devote this week's links to something decidedly non-digital: BOOKS. And don't get me started on the Kindle (shakes fist).



Friday Night Links/P.J.'s Picks:

I've always had a fascination with bookplates. I'm not sure why. Probably because it's a really bad ass personalized sticker and who doesn't like stickers?

I'm not sure how legit and official the organization is, but this site claims to be the home of the American Society of Bookplate Collectors and Designers.


Confessions of a Bookplate Junkie has hundreds of fine examples of the art, some of which are quite elaborate and enviable.

Found Beloved is a site dedicated to children's books found at garage sales and second hand stores. At least I think that's what the site is about. Also somehow affiliated with Marzipan Press.

And for those interested in the design and making of books I give you:

Biblio Odyssey which focuses on antiquarian book art

Amassblog which covers book design through the ages

and for the font enthusiast...

Typographica

Friday Night Links

Friday Night Links/P.J.'s Picks:

P.J. and I have had a pretty slow week and spent most of our time watching TV. We're not sure how or why, but we started getting channels that we never had before like VH1 Classic and The Biography Channel. We watched Joe Cocker belt out "With a Little Help from My Friends" at Woodstock on VH1 Classic. P.J. was pretty into it. I thought the performance lacked subtlety. Whatever.
The real highlight of our week came during the discovery of Ovation TV and one of its shows, "Art or Not?"

Each episode highlights a series of "artists" and their work as well as critics who argue about whether the "artist" creates real "art" or not. It's not nearly as pretentious as it sounds, though P.J. and I both thought some of the artists tried too hard when defending their work. Two artists I recognized were Obey Giant founder Shepard Fairey and Ed Hardy clothing creator, Don Ed Hardy.

I had no idea Ed Hardy was an actual artist who sells his designs to a clothing manufacturer. I thought it was just another clothing brand with obnoxious images. The strangest part is that the guy looks like an average suburban dad with curly hair and a plaid shirt. His laid back surfer/tattoo parlor aesthetic is entirely at odds with the muscular bros I see wearing his clothes.

Although not on TV, Fora.tv is a TED-like website that promotes the review and discussion of national issues including gay marriage in California, the success/failure of No Child Left Behind, and the influence of bloggers.

For those in a Los Angeles state of mind, we bring you Art Blogging L.A. The site is dedicated to tracking and promoting all manner of art exhibitions throughout the Los Angeles area, as well as show reviews.

The last links of the night are from P.J., who insists I promote his architecture-minded agenda. This time he is focusing on World's Fairs which, I must admit, is something of a secret obsession of mine (I guess that's why we get along so well).

Paris Exposition of 1925 and the Creation of Art Deco

San Francisco's Pan-Pacific International Exhibition of 1915.

Chicago's World's Columbian Exhibition of 1893

Expo Museum: Online archive of almost all the World's Fairs since their inception in 1851. It even keeps up with the latest World's Fair news like possible host cities for future fairs (Yes, World's Fairs still take place and or coordinated by the BIE).

University of Maryland also has a pretty extensive library archive.

Criss Angel Freaks My Mind

Criss Angel became well known and universally mocked shortly after his now cancelled television show "Mindfreak" began airing back in 2005.* The show features Criss Angel performing various tricks and illusions while sporting eyeliner, a freshly waxed chest, and a diamond studded necklace in the shape of handcuffs (because nothing says "I'M A MINDFREAK!!!!!" like jewelry so gaudy even Liberace wouldn't have worn it). My problem isn't with the fact that he's a magician, it's that he looks so ridiculous yet takes himself seriously.

The man dresses in a style that can only be described as Hot Topic meets The Village People: all black clothes, large rings in the shape of skulls, and dyed black hair cut in an asymmetrical pattern that covers his eyes. Oh yeah, the all black clothes include an unbuttoned leather vest that accentuates his freshly waxed chest. How this man is completely oblivious to the homoerotic nature of his look is completely lost on me. I guess that's why he's the Mindfreak and I'm not.

Normally people in the entertainment industry have some amount of self awareness. They know the image they are projecting and how that image is perceived. Criss Angel either completely lacks that self awareness or doesn't care. How else can you explain why he voluntarily goes out in public looking like this?

People who actively sport the Criss Angel look usually do it ironically and for comedic purposes, such as Hope is Emo. Angel wears his skulls and chains non-ironically and with an earnestness that verges on pathetic. In perhaps his greatest trick ever, Criss Angel has managed to meld Criss Angel the man with Criss Angel the persona so thoroughly even he can't tell the difference. The results of the trick are painful because it involves watching a 40 year old man wear eyeliner and sing the theme song from his TV show live in Las Vegas.

Even if his fashion sense is forgivable(which it isn't), there is still the small matter of his website which proudly asks visitors to, "Give the gift of Criss Angel. Criss Angel Fan Club Memberships Available Now." Not only is he assuming that people want to be part of his fan club, but that being a part of that club is somehow gift worthy. Wondering what to get that special person in your life who seems to have everything? Why not bless them with the epic fail that is Criss Angel's magic career?


More pictures of Criss Angel can be found here and here, although I think he'd be better represented if his photos were posted here.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm taking about, here is a commercial for Criss Angel's show "Mindfreak."




* Editor's Note: Holy crap, "Mindfreak" is still on the air and about to begin a new season on A&E. I could have sworn A&E stood for Arts and Entertainment. Criss Angel is neither of those. They must be desperate for content.

McDonald's: The Idiots Have Landed

Ever wonder why the French always seem to dislike Americans so much?

Here's your answer, conveniently edited into a 30 second dose of idiocy.